Ugh bf needs to do more!!!

I m home with the baby every day bf goes to work at 7 and comes home at 6. He gets home Works out eats dinner and goes straight to bed. I have to ask him to watch the baby so I can shower. I have to ask him to change baby diaper. I mean I love my son to death but I'd like for him to help out just a little bit. Make it seem like he wants to be here. Ugh big talk tomorrow
REPLIES
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Aug 25, 2011
Posted: on Apr 26, 2012
Sounds like my husband. He only does things when I ask him to and he gives the baby back as soon as she starts to cry lol.
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Aug 17, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
It's drives me nuts lol
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Dec 26, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
Same with my bf. He's gonna be lost when I go back to work and he has her alone sometimes.
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Sep 15, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
Same here!!!!!!!
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Aug 10, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
same here... I had to drag the swing in front of the bathroom so I could watch her while I showered even though he was home -____-
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Sep 02, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
Omg thats not nice he has to help out! My hubby helps a lot at Night he changes diapers and I breast feed he comedy from work he prefers to help me with the baby than eat. sorry that he doesn't help a lot =\
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Aug 17, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
I think it's the culture he was raised in. He been trying to convince me to move into his parents house ( we live together) so that his mom can raise the baby. I wanna raise our baby together. Not by his mom ugh.
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Sep 27, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
I guess I'm old fashioned ( and only 33 yrs old). I don't expect my husband to diaper changes or midnight feedings. I'm perfectly okay with doing it all, but he offers to help and I appreciate that. I think I would feel bad if I thought he didn't want to help, so I'm sorry to those mamas who are dealing with that.
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Aug 17, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
Way2bee - no I don't think that's old fashion. I think it's just I didn't have a dad growing up an I just want him to be in every part of our son life. And I can use a break just 10 mins to shower
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Jul 30, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
I get up with the baby on the weeknights my husband can be rested for work, but on Friday night he has baby duty and on Saturday night we split! When he comes home from work he go right to her! He just gave her a bottle, and now they are taking a nap together:) I am sorry y'all don't get the help you need! I would kill him if I did not get a little help!
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Aug 17, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
That's exactly what I'm having him do. But he works Monday though Saturday so he gets baby all day Saturday and Sunday and I'll get Sunday night. I got a pump so now he can feed baby too
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Mar 11, 2012
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
My husband helps sometimes. Usually I have to ask him to help && he NEVER helps at night because he has to get up at 4:30 for work && I don't have a job so I don't really mind but when he gets home around 5ish I would love if he helped more. Just like you said, I love my son to death but I'd love it if he just took the baby from me when he got out of work and fed him and changed him and stuff without me asking.
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Sep 13, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
Set up some expectations .. Tell him what you need. Do this when all is well over breakfast or another quiet happy time. Discussing it outside of the stressful moments when you are dying for a break & him getting home from a long day will make a big difference

My hubby knows when he gets home first order of business is a break for mom to shower ... Also bath time is Dada's job before bed

These were 2 small enough manageable tasks that we set ip before we had our first. There is no nagging or arguing about doing it since we agreed on our roles in advance

Our first is now 16 months & I am overdue with our second .. Gotta say at this point he's pretty well trained.
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Sep 02, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
i dont make My husband do it he offers at any time of the day or Night. he works from Monday-Saturday from 5 am to 9 pm and there's no problem with him wanting to help I'm so lucky :)
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Jan 23, 2012
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
Oh Im sorry this is happening with all you ladies, me OH is the opposite, he works 7am-5pm, comes home from work has dinner while feeding our 1yr old, at nights he'll sleep but if he hears baby crying he'll get up straight away to get him while im heating up his bottle (I EBF), he'll even feed him while I express some more. This is our 3rd LO so he's pretty much got things on lock with our kids, Im just glad that our 4yr old is pretty inderpendent. I agree with pp, set down some guidelines, where you want help or actually need it, keep on asking them to help out and hopefully eventually it'll come naturally. Mummy do need a little time to themselves too even if its just a 5-10min shower :)
By: BabyBumpUser
Member since Oct 13, 2011
Posted: on Apr 27, 2012
Sounds like my husband. I had to break down crying a week ago since I was only going on like 2 to 3 hours of sleep a day. My husband goes to work 11:15 and gets off at 10:15 and then would come home and play videogames while I took care of our 3 week old and our 3.5 year old. Then if any family wanted him to do anything on his day off he always did whatever they wanted leaving me alone with both kids. I love my kids but a few hours of help would be nice. My daughter has colic so its stressful and she has projectile vomiting so it takes at least 1 hour to feed her so she doesnt throw up and I do it on my own and hes only changed 1 diaper since she was born. He will keep her a few hours at night since I broke down but he always gives her back when shes hungry and hasnt been changed for like 5 hours. Its just so frustrating.

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