Ok I know green does not mean not vaccinating. And that's totally okay. I am very opposed to my children being vaccinated (ages 2 & 1, and my third is due in a few weeks). I am extremely passionate and have been very active in the past on various forums and such, confidently and logically backing my stance. I am really not one to be tried regarding this issue after soooo much time and energy and research I have invested in this decision. My husband is not as much of a researcher as I am and honestly so far has been pretty passively accepting of my stance. I have tried to involve him in the decision process many times but he has more or less just gone with me on it once he hears my passionate speeches on not vaccinating, or once he hears about such and such vaccine injury, etc. At times he had been somewhat proud of our parenting decision, especially in the midst of other like minds. The issue in it all however lies mainly with his parents who were/are absolutely appalled when they discovered our non vaccinating stance. When it initially came up, I was the one answering their questions, sharing statistics, etc and I was really put on the spot about it while my husband quietly stood by. I stood my ground but that conversation was easily the most uncomfortable situation I've ever been in with my inlaws, about 2.5 years ago. Since then, they have approached my husband when I have not been around a couple of times and have tried to pressure him into "stepping up" and "making the right decision for your family." I did have a conversation with my mil about it months back, and continued to stand my ground, but really didn't entertain it for long after realizing that my mil's logic is very emotional and she completely ignores the facts that she wants to. Personally I feel very strongly that this is not an issue that they need to have a say in, therefore I do not need to answer to them. They do mean well, and I can understand where they are coming from (upstanding conservative background and even family in the medical field). They are very trusting in the medical system and have most definitely never given a second thought about not vaccinating before all of this. Therefore, they see the non vaccinating stance as frivolous and unfounded. Unfortunately because my husband has not been as unwavering in this matter, he has become sort of a target and I really feel like he is being wrongfully pressured to go against what we have already decided. In a conversation earlier today when I was not around, they once again pressured him to "do the right thing" and also told him that much of his extended family has even been insulted by our decision!! Needless to say I have been fuming over it. After attempting to discuss it with my husband, he is left feeling like the middle man between two very heated sides. My philosophy is that we do not need to answer to his parents on this, especially when they are essentially bullying him into making a decision to please them and extended family (and fear mongering by asking him "have you ever seen someone paralyzed by polio?") My husband even suggested that I hash it out with them, but I said absolutely not- this is between us and even if we do go over it all again and decide in favor for certain vaccines that I most definitely will not be reporting it to my inlaws! What I believe needs to happen is that my husband needs to stand his ground and at the very least tell his parents that it is not up for discussion anymore. This is just so disheartening after all his parents have done for us and after so many other positive relationship experiences we have had with them... Any advice on how to respond to this situation would be great! Thank you.
on Dec 30, 2013